Pet Peeve No. 1

(the beginning of an ongoing series)

The lycra-clad cyclist…

The lycra-clad cyclist is a most annoying animal. Anything that makes him slow his pace is wrong, any pedestrian getting in his way is fair game. Any car that pulls out into the road awaiting a chance to join traffic is his nemesis, denying him his God-given right to ride his bike as fast as he wants, wherever he wants.

The lycra-clad cyclist will yell at walkers to get out of his way on the footpath, and will disregard the safety of those on foot in order to slide through that one little gap without slowing his pace.

The lycra-clad cyclist is usually a middle-aged pinch-faced, joyless twerp of a man who will yell at the driver whose blind spot he just entered.

Imagining yourself a master of the universe when you slip the lycra on. You’re such a man when you put on your lycra. Tell me, is that one or two pairs of socks in there?